So many of my friends – and so many people I’d like to befriend – have blocked friend requests from bands on MySpace. They have, so to speak….
BANNED BANDS. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist!)
In some ways, I suppose I can’t blame them. But guess what, friends…. This Jesus Crisis profile is technically, in the eyes of God and MySpace, a BAND profile. I created it in MySpace Music instead of through the normal “Create an account” avenue.
Why, you ask? Good question….
You see, in addition to being an award-losing blogger I’m also a little bit of a musician and composer, and Jesus Crisis is my stage name and nom de plume. This was my secondary profile, intended solely for me to promote my music. I had another profile (it had a different name on an almost weekly basis) that I used for my blogging, family photos, poetry, videos, and endless lists of favorite books, musical acts, heroes et cetera.
God only knows how many thousands of hours I had invested into that profile…and I’m exaggerating only slightly. But it was a labor of love and a masterpiece of self-expression.
Then MySpace decided to delete it without warning. All my blogs and all my network of 1000-some friends vanished into the rarest of air overnight, never to be recovered. So I had to start over…and I transformed this erstwhile music profile into my regular/default/primary page because it was easier than creating a new one that might be deleted as arbitrarily.
There is one significant advantage a band profile has over a normal one: No spambots or pornbots harrass me anymore. I guess they’re afraid a band profile will dish them as much spam as they are accustomed to dishing. And let them keep thinking that.
But the bad thing about having a “band profile” is that probably 50% of the coolest people on MySpace have their profiles set to not accept any friend requests from bands. This has been a huge pain in the arse. So then I have to send them a REAL message expressing my interest in being friends and… then sit and wait and hope they respond. The nerve of some people… requiring actual communication before becoming my friends…lol. Worst of all are those people who do respond to my message with, for example, “sure, let’s be friends,” but then still don’t send me a friend request. I mean, I already explained in my first message why I was UNABLE to send them a request. But now I have to write to them again, making it clearer that I need them to send me a request if we really want this to happen. Feels like I’m begging….
“Don’t make me chase you. Even doves have pride”
Perhaps this song is a bit more accurate, however:
“Ain’t too proud to beg, sweet darlin’…”
I guess it’s not so much a matter of pride as a matter of effort. If I was that fond of effort, I might be a richly successful artist instead of an aspiring one. Then like U2 or Beethoven I wouldn’t care if you banned band profiles from YourSpace, ’cause I’d be getting more than enough love already. But I do care, damn it.
Being an aspiring artist who has been in several nearly-nowhere bands that achieved next to nothing, I guess I have a sympathetic soft spot for the shitty MySpace wannabe bands that randomly solicit me to listen to their wares or be their friend. I have to admit that half the time I don’t bother listening to their music unless the first two beats (or anything else immediately visible on their page) grab my attention. But I almost always accept their friend requests. Hell, I figure, if they suck, what’s it hurt? And if they’re good, maybe someone will find them through my page and give them a break. Unlikely, perhaps…but so what? Believe it or not, I’ve actually discovered a few kick ass artists this way! Maybe if they’re hateful or they spam the shit out of me I’ll delete them. But as long as bands behave themselves in my temple, they’re welcome to drink from my chalice for as long as they like.
Well, I’ve rambled on far too long and still haven’t gotten to my point. So here it is:
Come on, people! You wouldn’t want me to discriminate against you because you’re black or white or straight or striped or gay or way-too-old or way-too-young to be on MySpace…. You wouldn’t want me to ban you from my friends list because you like Mariah Carey or forgot to tweese the middle of your unibrow this month. So please don’t discriminate against band profiles. Pleeeease! If we suck, then tell all your friends we suck and refuse to buy our records. Go drool over Mariah Carey’s latest video instead. And hell, I’m not even subjecting you to my music. So be my friend, damn it! And maybe I’ll be so happy I’ll use one of my 265 other MySpace profiles to vote for you in the next Blogger Special Olympics…or simply send you one of my forthcoming CD’s at the low, low, MySpace Friends price of $15.99.
Just kidding…. Don’t take me so seriously, for Jesus Crisis’ sake!