That’s right, I said accelerate – as in put the pedal to the metal and burn this mutha down.  Here are ten reasons the gods, if they exist, might look back on the 21st century and call speeding up global warming one hell of a good idea.

10.  Fox News, Sean Hannity, and American Idol (pronounced eye-dull) are off the air!

9.  Obesity, heart disease, and corporate fraud have been reduced permanently.

8.  No need for fuel efficient cars.  Viva la Hummer spacecraft!

7.  Death to all tyrants!

6.  War and genocide are things of the past.

5.  Windmill schmindmill – solar wind requires no construction and heats for free.

4.  An end, once and for all, to e-mail advocating penis enhancement!

3.  Think of all the time you’ll save not hurling virtual snowballs and poking your friends on Facebook.

2.  Your leftovers are already warm!

1.  Who needs an oyster?  The world is my sauna.