It’s in dependence day in the land of the buy bull

Geez-us walks out of a bar on Clark Street
smells spent gunpowder in the air
sees unseized illegal works of fire getting off
on Fairlawn, Lexington and Concord Streets
is so overwhelmed by the aromas of the explosions around him
it’s not until he arrives home that the other meaning of Clark bar occurs to him
and still longer before he thinks of the irony in cracker blasts on Concord

Meanwhile dozens of flies buzz in his basement on his way inside
and he recalls a poem by Emily Dickinson:

     I heard a Fly buzz – when I died –  
The Stillness in the Room
Was like the Stillness in the Air – 
Between the Heaves of Storm – 

The Eyes around – had wrung them dry – 
And Breaths were gathering firm
For that last Onset – when the King
Be witnessed – in the Room – 

I willed my Keepsakes – Signed away
What portions of me be
Assignable – and then it was
There interposed a Fly – 

With Blue – uncertain stumbling Buzz – 
Between the light – and me – 
And then the Windows failed – and then
I could not see to see – 

And as he remembers
Geez-us feels as inadequate as a poet
as he feels as a husband
as he feels as a son or a sun
as he feels as one of those persons he’s alleged to be
or supposed to be

He contemplates how at the bar he ran into the father
the so called dad of his so called victim
the dad who was deejaying with happy appended to his name
who said he didn’t blame Geez-us for being
depressed or distraught or dicked down
and then bought Geez-us a beer saying his daughter told him
she really wasn’t raped but was pissed because he dissed her
and she wanted the lowered to pay
to show he was a holey man but no savior
and no way for eleven years

After three days she thought he’d been in the the tomb long enough
but the buy bull had other thoughts
that no one dared contradict
and so he was dicked down longer than that
far longer than she could ever hope or hate to be
the flies buzzed for what seemed like eternity and more
than a decayed later he’s still making payments
on the buy bull
the light bier
the Clark bar candy he never really ate
and the hate both he and those who think he ate it feel
and he wishes he’d let that so-called happy man buy him a second beer
and told him what he really feels
that Geez-us is no messiah
only a mess
sigh
ugh
and if he had to die
he kinda wishes he’d never risen again.