I received this message in an email from GoDaddy last night:

“When we retire all Quick Blogcast® accounts on June 25, 2014, you will no longer have access to your account, including its content, and your blog will no longer be available on the Internet.”

Of course this will apply to this Tao of Jesus Crisis blog, as well as the Crisis Chronicles Press blog and the blog-based Crisis Chronicles cyber litmag.

I’ve gone through this before with MySpace, Xanga and Yahoo 360.  I thought that by paying for a blog service like QuickBlogcast (which I’ve done since December 2007) I could avoid the possibility of such loss.  (Why would they eliminate my blog if it’s a source of income for them?)  But I was wrong.

That said, I’d been wishing for a while that I could abandon GoDaddy, but I knew the URL permalinks to all my individual entries would be changed if I did – which would break thousands of links to my site from around the internet – plus certain blog content (e.g. PayPal links, the Cleveland Poetry Calendar and any Java-based material) would be stripped and much of my formatting lost in any transfer.  Now I have to do it anyway.

Of course this notice arrived on what would’ve been Uncle Bob’s 70th birthday (he died less than two months after Mom did last year) and during the week of what would’ve been Mom’s 66th birthday.  The first anniversary of her death will be May 5th, followed soon by Mother’s Day.

So I was already struggling to come to terms with loss and impermanence and all the like, things I always believed I could handle better than most people intellectually but which are proving me quite mistaken emotionally.  I’m already grieving deeply, even maybe more than after she first died and I was in shock and had to be robotlike to do the things I had to do.  And though this blog fiasco is another very hard thing to cope with, in another sense it really doesn’t seem that important to me anymore.  I no longer have any illusons that my words are that important or might last long after my death.  And I’d throw away my blog, my poetry and everything else to have my mom back.

I cry.  I want to give up.  But I won’t.

So I’ll see you when I get the new blogsite set up and everything transferred.

Thanks for reading and caring.